I think I might be the oldest of the 12 Tenors. I don’t feel it, of course, but, chronologically, I believe that’s the truth. And that makes me glow with pride. You know why? Because, the other day, I had the sudden realisation that that makes me...
Kevin, out of Backstreet Boys!!!
Always loved Kevin. He was forever my favourite, with his mix of suave awkwardness and placid mother hen demeanor. Also, when I was a teenager, none of my female friends fancied Kevin, they all seemed to fall head-over-heels for Nick, Brian or Howie - here portrayed to scale - so I felt a particular affinity with him. His deep, brooding gaze there to reassure me that: ‘Yeah, nobody fancies us, but it’s OUR choice.’
We played in a variety of venues this week, one of which turned out to be a school, so we ended up changing in Biology class:
What stayed with me of that night was:
1. Once again, the incredible warmth and enthusiasm showed by the audience.
2. The techies’ irresistible urge to draw cock and balls on any available blackboard. Which I deleted one by one before we left, without them noticing.
Now, I didn’t do that because I didn’t agree with the statement they were trying to make: after all, cock and balls - preferably ejaculating and grotesquely hairy, respectively – are the epitome of rebellion against the system, using scatological humour to satirise Monsanto’s poisoning of thousands of acres of precious crops, all over the world: the semen coming out of the cock and balls clearly representing the ‘seed’ which, being planted in a now contaminated and infertile ground - the blackboard – is completely sterile, like white chalk.
No, far from it. I deleted it for a completely different reason, which I know even the techies themselves would appreciate.
Cock and balls are funny, sure. No doubt about that. And poignant.
But how much FUNNIER is it to know that they know – or they think they know – that the cock and balls are still there, but knowing at the same time that they don’t know that the cock and balls are in fact NOT there anymore???
Admittedly, the original intended recipients of such ballsy humour – i.e. the kids and the teacher turning up for class, the following day – will be none the wiser. But I know. And now YOU know. And the techies DON’T know. They don’t even know that we know that they don’t know! And that’s what I believe ‘alternative comedy’ ultimately should be: shifting the planes and parameters by which comedy itself is delivered and perceived. The problem is, it's just very easy to cock up.
